Be warned, this one might ramble, this isn’t one of those posts I’ve carried in my head for a few days.
So I when I moved into this new place, I had all these plans to use the gym regularly and to change a few of my eating habits. And for a while, I really kept that up. And I felt pretty good about that. But after a few weeks I found that I was losing the gym less and watching tv more, I was making fewer green smoothies and eating more processed stuff.
Now, I was just thinking that these were a few temporary bad habits that I was indulging in and that soon I could muster the will power to get back on track. However, what I just realised while writing this out (and one of the reasons I need this blog) is that tv and junk food are two small bad habits that I have but they are part of one overarching habitual pattern for how I cope with stress.
You see, if I step back and look at the bigger picture, it all comes down to me seeking comfort and escape when I’m stressed. Tv allows me to turn off my mind for a bit, junk food gives a little sugar boost, knitting lets me focus on a pattern, texting a friend is a distraction from being alone. None of these things are a problem in moderation or when approached with intent but I was just on autopilot.
There was never a conscious decision or realisation about what I was doing and that is a big problem. Having all these little avenues that allow me to escape stress means I never have to face the big issues; effectively I always have an alley to duck down when I feel like the monster is on my tail. But only by standing and facing down these monsters can we actually free ourselves from them.
So I’m going to need to be more mindful about all the little ways I duck stress in my day and it’s going to take a lot of effort to bring myself to stay with the discomfort. The alternative is just to live the rest of my life half asleep and on autopilot and that just sounds boring, don’t you think?
So I Might Be Wrong 